8 years ago
Thursday, March 4, 2010
reminder
"However, I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me- the task of testifying the gospel of God's grace" -Acts 20:24
Thursday, December 3, 2009
life is beautiful
another one about life and time
about the beauty of love and the fineness of mine
its funny when the rest of the world can be frowning
and be telling each other their lives are f'd
but I see it that theres beauty people leaving left
on the pavement, because their hands cant carry
the infinite weight of their own priorities
and that such stupid things take seignority
still things that are dead seem to have so much authority
man, if only i could open your eyes
make you see through a different lens the beauty of life
even on a rainy day as this
even still learning about the dangers of a mist
the Lord, man, he longs to tell us this
that all we want to do is labour and toil
but the Lord God is tryign to remove from our eyes that foil
bring us that truth
take away these stupid lies, and give us anew
the wonders of life
see you dont need to make a secular playlist, right
because in the heart of God and the heart of love
all the music we hear can be from above
even the death metal, I think that theres more
than satanic cries and lustful thirst
nah nah, theres still more
didn't David write songs when he was pissed off with the Lord?
Through those angry chords
I just hear a man singing his heart out even more
sometimes than I do in church, or when Im sitting in the pews
man the cries of their hearts, in some ways, captures perfectly the truth
and captures perfectly a vision of our youth
I pray for them that they would inspire and commune
and build eachother up
Warden, man, I give you all my love
Teach and preach the beauty of life in those streets
Let the beauty of life spread and reign throughout Cataraqui
And let God keep working strong in Layton and Fir Valley
another prayer, another night
another hour the devil and angels try to fight
for my soul
its so insane that i dont even know
how much im worth to Him, how much hes fighting for
me, and all my brothers and sisters round
for the sinners, the haters, and all those that feel left out
so let my footsteps be of heaven
let my words speak of the Lord
Let each chord
be an echo so infinitely unheard
but learned
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
because sometimes this is how I pray
Sometimes when the soul is weary
Im caught in the knowledge Im supposed to fear thee
But then I just go about spending my hours wasting my time
Till the voice and breath of God is released in a rhyme
The soul longs for rest, I cant give it that
My brain, my mind is consumed by the world's math
And Im told that there is a solution breathing deep within the word
And if I come to him and speak, my prayers will personally be heard
But the boy's heart cant bring himself to his knees
Rather seek that peace in the things of me
And sometimes when you are restless the last thing you want to do is to sit and wait
Dont want to sit and wallow in the hate
That is brewing within
Somehow, Im sure, connected to my continuous sins
But the voice of God in conquers straight through
Teaching and preaching in the hearts of me and you
His voice emits from our mouths, from our tongues and our lips
In our actions, our thoughts, into our hands like a gift
But the heart is unsure and the mind wants something else
the heart is directionless and the mind just needs help
But the prayer of God powers through
And in your heart, a new song starts to grew
A love song, about me and you
About the air and the breeze
About how our souls can break free
About the way a man runs across a field
Love expresses itself in the reflection of steel
And I realize, I try to escape the love of God
I try to fight the one that not only created us all
But breathed his life into our souls
So that we can realize that LOVE is our end goal
He shows it through everything
Through the songs we sing
Both in church and at home
In the pews and when we are alone
In the organs and violins
And the hardcore rhymes which helps you feel the sting
And even though we often equate this beauty to the others
Trying to open our eyes is the great heavenly Father
My eyes are closed, my hands stretched out reaching for something new
But I fail to realize you've planted a tree in me that keeps bearing more fruit
Each piece new every day
Each piece rediscovered in a fresh revitalizing way
And hes penetrating through my mind and fingers
Like the holiest and most majestic of singers
But my heart doesn't feel it
Do you understand when I say my soul can't really conceive it?
I know what you are saying to me, trust me
But maybe I am still learning to believe that its good to be free
Trapped in the system of authority
Maybe I've yet to fully understand that all you've ever wanted was me
Maybe my prayer is bittersweet
But maybe right now thats where you want it to be...
Sunday, September 20, 2009
the future needs a big kiss
What did you want to be when you were younger? What motivated you and kept you going? What were your dreams (both conscious and unconscious) filled with?
As children, many of us had big plans for our lives; HUGE plans for the future. We dreamed of being spacemen and spacewomen; being explorers of the unknown and literally pushing the boundaries of the human capacity. Others dreamed of being firemen, doctors, and veterinarians because we wanted to devote our futures to caring for others. There was just something satisfying about taking a toy medical set and magically healing someone, just to let them know that "they were all better". Others, like myself, dreamed of being a professional hockey player in the NHL. I did not start playing ice hockey until grade five, but years before that I just knew that I had it in me. I certainly did not dream of being in the OHL or almost making the NHL, I dreamed about being in the NHL.
The question now is what happened? Did reality hit? Did we realize that being an astronaut was a foolish goal? Did we come to the conclusion that there really is more to life than simply just "helping people out"? I mean, we have to help ourselves out first, right? Did I realize I did not have the capacity to excel at a professional level in any and every sport? What happened?
Obviously as we get older we see things in a broader light and we begin to understand what is practical and what is not; what is feasible and what is foolish. Let's face it: if i have not realized that my dreams of making the NHL are over by now, my life would be headed towards utter chaos and disappointment. As we grow up, we learn to adjust the wild and endless dreams we used to have.
But maybe as we have grown up, we have adjusted them too much, or we have forgotten how to dream altogether. Reality hits us so hard, perhaps, that we no longer strive for the unimaginable, but rather we strive for what is do-able; what seems like the right thing to do. When we think of the future, less and less do our eyes widen and our hearts beat faster at the mere thought of the potential of our lives. Think about it: the potential of our lives. When we were kids, we certainly had big dreams and in no way did we want to just be normal. We wanted to be the best; we wanted to literally have our lives stretched as far as possible to do what we were meant to do. And as I survey many of my peers and older, I begin to realize that that idea of doing what we were meant to do is fading. Our dreams become smaller, and our view of ourselves become slightly more unattractive, unappealing, and typical.
So what do we strive for now? Of course there are some who still have big dreams of the fancy cars, big mansion, and packs of girls following them around and clinging onto their every word. Sure there are people like that, but lets face it: most of the time their motives are selfish and embarrassing, and, honestly, it's hard to call that dreaming big. As children we were dreaming about the full potential of who we could be, not what we could own or how many letters or inches we on.
But for the society that I am a part of, as a majority, it seems we strive for one key thing: stability. We like the idea of being stable. We like the idea of having enough money to put food on the table; to keep gas in the engine, and occasionally spoil ourselves on a shopping spree. We like the idea of having the same job forever: that if it pays well and the co-workers are nice, there really is not anything else more you can ask for. We like the idea that a tornado will not sweep through our city tomorrow morning and our house will not be reduced to a pile of scrap wood. We like that stability, and let's be honest, who wouldn't? They are fairly reasonable things to want, so why would we not desire them?
But the real issue here is not that we want this, but that this is what our dreams have diminished to: stability. We went from wanting to explore the deepest regions of outer space to wanting a house in a safe community. Really the sad part of this is that our dreams of stability really lead us towards a stagnant life. People in middle to upper-class Western society seem to strive to make their way into a cyclical lifestyle that neither progresses or advances; instead, like a cycle, it boringly just goes around in a circle. The life I believe many are working towards, and many are currently already in, is a goal of being able to find a nice paying job that will provide financially for them and their family, and in turn will create a comfortable lifestyle and comfortable atmosphere for them to continue working with their job so they will not get fired, and stay in their position so they can provide financially for them and their family...
Don't get me wrong, I understand the importance of responsibility, but again I must repeat myself, is this what our be-all-and-end-all dreams have diminished to? Have we just adopted a mindset of settling and just finding a comfortable niche that we can call our home for the rest of our lives until we die? Once we hit this cycle, are we just counting the days until it is over, or are we truly striving to live everyday to the fullest; striving to live our lives to their fullest? We have narrowed our views on ourselves and we are so quick to crush anything inside us that is telling us that we can be more. We have come a long way from our imaginative and wild dreams, to now, where our dreams are, well, just practical. It is hard to change the world and make a difference if our biggest and wildest hopes and goals for ourselves are merely restricted by practicality and reality. I am starting to understand more and more what Jesus meant when he said "Assuredly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God as a little child will by no means enter it".
I work with a lot of children and youth throughout the year and, naturally, am exposed to many of their plans for the future. Some of them want to be superheroes, while others want to be musicians, while some want to be construction workers. Money, fame, and status usually have nothing to do with their decisions, rather they are motivated by this idea that they can change the world; that they can have an dramatic impact on the world, and they can play their part in making it a better place. I pray that as they grow up, that the world they so desire to save will not taint them, but rather, they will strive to break free from normality and never forget how to dream big.
As children, many of us had big plans for our lives; HUGE plans for the future. We dreamed of being spacemen and spacewomen; being explorers of the unknown and literally pushing the boundaries of the human capacity. Others dreamed of being firemen, doctors, and veterinarians because we wanted to devote our futures to caring for others. There was just something satisfying about taking a toy medical set and magically healing someone, just to let them know that "they were all better". Others, like myself, dreamed of being a professional hockey player in the NHL. I did not start playing ice hockey until grade five, but years before that I just knew that I had it in me. I certainly did not dream of being in the OHL or almost making the NHL, I dreamed about being in the NHL.
The question now is what happened? Did reality hit? Did we realize that being an astronaut was a foolish goal? Did we come to the conclusion that there really is more to life than simply just "helping people out"? I mean, we have to help ourselves out first, right? Did I realize I did not have the capacity to excel at a professional level in any and every sport? What happened?
Obviously as we get older we see things in a broader light and we begin to understand what is practical and what is not; what is feasible and what is foolish. Let's face it: if i have not realized that my dreams of making the NHL are over by now, my life would be headed towards utter chaos and disappointment. As we grow up, we learn to adjust the wild and endless dreams we used to have.
But maybe as we have grown up, we have adjusted them too much, or we have forgotten how to dream altogether. Reality hits us so hard, perhaps, that we no longer strive for the unimaginable, but rather we strive for what is do-able; what seems like the right thing to do. When we think of the future, less and less do our eyes widen and our hearts beat faster at the mere thought of the potential of our lives. Think about it: the potential of our lives. When we were kids, we certainly had big dreams and in no way did we want to just be normal. We wanted to be the best; we wanted to literally have our lives stretched as far as possible to do what we were meant to do. And as I survey many of my peers and older, I begin to realize that that idea of doing what we were meant to do is fading. Our dreams become smaller, and our view of ourselves become slightly more unattractive, unappealing, and typical.
So what do we strive for now? Of course there are some who still have big dreams of the fancy cars, big mansion, and packs of girls following them around and clinging onto their every word. Sure there are people like that, but lets face it: most of the time their motives are selfish and embarrassing, and, honestly, it's hard to call that dreaming big. As children we were dreaming about the full potential of who we could be, not what we could own or how many letters or inches we on.
But for the society that I am a part of, as a majority, it seems we strive for one key thing: stability. We like the idea of being stable. We like the idea of having enough money to put food on the table; to keep gas in the engine, and occasionally spoil ourselves on a shopping spree. We like the idea of having the same job forever: that if it pays well and the co-workers are nice, there really is not anything else more you can ask for. We like the idea that a tornado will not sweep through our city tomorrow morning and our house will not be reduced to a pile of scrap wood. We like that stability, and let's be honest, who wouldn't? They are fairly reasonable things to want, so why would we not desire them?
But the real issue here is not that we want this, but that this is what our dreams have diminished to: stability. We went from wanting to explore the deepest regions of outer space to wanting a house in a safe community. Really the sad part of this is that our dreams of stability really lead us towards a stagnant life. People in middle to upper-class Western society seem to strive to make their way into a cyclical lifestyle that neither progresses or advances; instead, like a cycle, it boringly just goes around in a circle. The life I believe many are working towards, and many are currently already in, is a goal of being able to find a nice paying job that will provide financially for them and their family, and in turn will create a comfortable lifestyle and comfortable atmosphere for them to continue working with their job so they will not get fired, and stay in their position so they can provide financially for them and their family...
Don't get me wrong, I understand the importance of responsibility, but again I must repeat myself, is this what our be-all-and-end-all dreams have diminished to? Have we just adopted a mindset of settling and just finding a comfortable niche that we can call our home for the rest of our lives until we die? Once we hit this cycle, are we just counting the days until it is over, or are we truly striving to live everyday to the fullest; striving to live our lives to their fullest? We have narrowed our views on ourselves and we are so quick to crush anything inside us that is telling us that we can be more. We have come a long way from our imaginative and wild dreams, to now, where our dreams are, well, just practical. It is hard to change the world and make a difference if our biggest and wildest hopes and goals for ourselves are merely restricted by practicality and reality. I am starting to understand more and more what Jesus meant when he said "Assuredly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God as a little child will by no means enter it".
I work with a lot of children and youth throughout the year and, naturally, am exposed to many of their plans for the future. Some of them want to be superheroes, while others want to be musicians, while some want to be construction workers. Money, fame, and status usually have nothing to do with their decisions, rather they are motivated by this idea that they can change the world; that they can have an dramatic impact on the world, and they can play their part in making it a better place. I pray that as they grow up, that the world they so desire to save will not taint them, but rather, they will strive to break free from normality and never forget how to dream big.
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
spiritual battles
standing on the side looking in
looking at the big picture but cant get over that one thing
the thing that makes me doubt who i am
the one that makes me doubt if i can
feelings of inadequancy mixed with ideas of humility
the ideas of peace never seemed so hard to reach
or hard to handle
my wisdom and knowledge at a stand still
getting really hard not to flip the channel
or watch the episode that plays in front of me
makes me look at the future and question what i see
that the path set out for me
is no longer lined with faith, but reality
im asking you, where to next, where do i go?
but the answer you've given me I just cant unfold
so i keep going not knowing where im heading
just confirmation that i am clueless in my setting
but i check myself and understand the victory
is in Him, he who gives me peace and sets me free
and that the thigns around, see
are not the things of reality
but the angels and demons fighting around me
see, i gotta understand this spiritual warfare
is so close you can almost feel your clothes tear
because the devil is scared that something powerful is happening
that the children he's moulded are turning from their sin
and are learning to tell the truth instead of lie
did i honestly think that it was gonna be a free ride?
Nah, the devil is lurking and attacking the way I live
because he knows he cant mess with the heart of a kid
so he goes after me because my heart can be hardened
i can feel the frustration starting
but I need to check myself, and rely on the Lord
Not be impatient but look forward to the peace he has in store
and absorb
Lord, give me more, more, more
cast out the devil, replace with the Lord
Help me not to struggle with these feelings of inadequancies
Damn, I've been telling the kids they have the Holy Spirit inside of thee
So dont let anyone tell you your worth nothing and you cant do anything
when you got something much bigger, you're guarenteed a win
Help me to remember because the devil likes to fool
make you actualize grace like its based on rules
when actual grace can only be accepted by those who
forget themselves and find themselves new
rooted in you
looking at the big picture but cant get over that one thing
the thing that makes me doubt who i am
the one that makes me doubt if i can
feelings of inadequancy mixed with ideas of humility
the ideas of peace never seemed so hard to reach
or hard to handle
my wisdom and knowledge at a stand still
getting really hard not to flip the channel
or watch the episode that plays in front of me
makes me look at the future and question what i see
that the path set out for me
is no longer lined with faith, but reality
im asking you, where to next, where do i go?
but the answer you've given me I just cant unfold
so i keep going not knowing where im heading
just confirmation that i am clueless in my setting
but i check myself and understand the victory
is in Him, he who gives me peace and sets me free
and that the thigns around, see
are not the things of reality
but the angels and demons fighting around me
see, i gotta understand this spiritual warfare
is so close you can almost feel your clothes tear
because the devil is scared that something powerful is happening
that the children he's moulded are turning from their sin
and are learning to tell the truth instead of lie
did i honestly think that it was gonna be a free ride?
Nah, the devil is lurking and attacking the way I live
because he knows he cant mess with the heart of a kid
so he goes after me because my heart can be hardened
i can feel the frustration starting
but I need to check myself, and rely on the Lord
Not be impatient but look forward to the peace he has in store
and absorb
Lord, give me more, more, more
cast out the devil, replace with the Lord
Help me not to struggle with these feelings of inadequancies
Damn, I've been telling the kids they have the Holy Spirit inside of thee
So dont let anyone tell you your worth nothing and you cant do anything
when you got something much bigger, you're guarenteed a win
Help me to remember because the devil likes to fool
make you actualize grace like its based on rules
when actual grace can only be accepted by those who
forget themselves and find themselves new
rooted in you
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
let it shine, let it shine, let it shine
Today at Tuesday UP worship, my brother in Christ was leading music and mentioned something really profound (in my opinion). As we sang for more of Jesus in our lives, he really convicted us with this word from the Lord.
Moses desired more of God, and God granted that wish; in other words, I feel like it is safe to say that Moses was blessed with the glory of God because he was in the presence of God. And it showed! When he came back down to the Israelites, his face was radiant; everybody knew there was something dramatically different. IN the next verse, it actually states that people were afraid to look at Moses' face, just as to see the face of God is overwhelmingly holy. As a result, Moses had to wear a veil which he only took off in the presence of God.
My brother challenged us with this message: if Moses' face glowed with radience when his encounter with God was merely external, how come we, who now have God INSIDE of us, do not glow even greater? Do we not crave it enough? Or are we ignoring the true power and truth to Emmanuel; God with us?
I think part of the reason why we do not shine as brightly as we should be is that we do not have the faith in the real impact of God in our hearts, minds, soul, and body. For one reason or another, we are scared to unleash the power of God in our lives; possibly being frightened at the idea that we can no longer be ourselves. When people see us, do we honestly want them to see God, or do we want them to see us? Maybe the first step is admitting that we need to be a whole lot better at seeing God active and profound in us.
I think I have always questioned what it means for people to notice a difference in myself as a Christian. I think through meditating on this truth from the Word, I am beginning to feel like God fully in us actually creates some sort of tangible aura that people just feel, see, hear, taste. I think it is more than just the words we speak, or the actions we take. Perhaps when we allow God to shine through us, and that when the idea of God presence in us really sinks in, we actually start to ooze the spirit, just as Moses' face glowed.
"When Moses came down from Mount Sinai with the two tablets of the Testimony in his hands, he was not aware that his face was radiant because he had spoken with the LORD."
-Exodus 34:29
-Exodus 34:29
Moses desired more of God, and God granted that wish; in other words, I feel like it is safe to say that Moses was blessed with the glory of God because he was in the presence of God. And it showed! When he came back down to the Israelites, his face was radiant; everybody knew there was something dramatically different. IN the next verse, it actually states that people were afraid to look at Moses' face, just as to see the face of God is overwhelmingly holy. As a result, Moses had to wear a veil which he only took off in the presence of God.
My brother challenged us with this message: if Moses' face glowed with radience when his encounter with God was merely external, how come we, who now have God INSIDE of us, do not glow even greater? Do we not crave it enough? Or are we ignoring the true power and truth to Emmanuel; God with us?
I think part of the reason why we do not shine as brightly as we should be is that we do not have the faith in the real impact of God in our hearts, minds, soul, and body. For one reason or another, we are scared to unleash the power of God in our lives; possibly being frightened at the idea that we can no longer be ourselves. When people see us, do we honestly want them to see God, or do we want them to see us? Maybe the first step is admitting that we need to be a whole lot better at seeing God active and profound in us.
I think I have always questioned what it means for people to notice a difference in myself as a Christian. I think through meditating on this truth from the Word, I am beginning to feel like God fully in us actually creates some sort of tangible aura that people just feel, see, hear, taste. I think it is more than just the words we speak, or the actions we take. Perhaps when we allow God to shine through us, and that when the idea of God presence in us really sinks in, we actually start to ooze the spirit, just as Moses' face glowed.
Thursday, May 28, 2009
celebrating celebrities
Today I was watching Paris Hilton's British Best Friend. This is now my second time in the past 3 months watching this show, and both times have been both entertaining and brain numbing. Never has something been so entertaining because it was so incredibly stupid.
For those that do not know the premise of the show, it goes as follows. A reality competition follows a group of British girls (and one very content boy) who fight to become Paris Hilton's British best friend. Paris puts them through various competitions and tasks to "prove their love for her" and show how much they really want her friendship. I am assuming she had a show called Paris Hilton's Best Friend, and is now searching for something more exotic (but only slightly). I am assuming next season, she will acquire a Latino BF.
Maybe it is just the people I surround myself with or the media I chose to attend to, but I had this notion that most people hated Paris Hilton; or at the very least thought her as a concept (rich dumb girl that does nothing and becomes famous) to be embarrassing to humanity and its race. However, on this show, the contestants are in complete awe of her. Here are a few examples:
Nonetheless, watching (and admittingly enjoying) this show got me thinking of why people are so mezmorized by celebrities. I am not talking about loving Sidney Crosby because he is a great hockey player or watching all Matt Damon movies because you think he is a talented actor. I am talking about those nuts that consistently follow John Mayer on Twitter, the people that run those TV Shows that seem far to interested in Kate Winslet's pregnancy, or individuals that tell themselves that the Olsen twins are their biggest life inspirations.
I guess it really is not my say to pass judgement on how one distributes his or her respect, but at the very least, I question the motives or mentality behind this adoration. What makes someone reach this level of obsession with someone they have only encountered on television? Perhaps it is a desire for living like someone or something they are not; the idea of living vicariously through someone who has it all?
What many of these people maybe need to do is wake up from their dreamland, or as Mr. Matthers would say "snap back to reality". Most of these people are not really running from their horrible lives, but their mundane, ordinary, and boring lives. Perhaps these people need to be reminded that their "ordinary" lives are not necessarily boring, but rather there are more subtle excitements and joys of life they have not yet explored in their own lives. I think we all tend to wish we were someone else; wish we were doing something better. I think having a drive to live life greater is important, but I think there is a danger when we decide our lives would be better if it were not its own, but rather that of someone "better" or more "glamorous".
For those that do not know the premise of the show, it goes as follows. A reality competition follows a group of British girls (and one very content boy) who fight to become Paris Hilton's British best friend. Paris puts them through various competitions and tasks to "prove their love for her" and show how much they really want her friendship. I am assuming she had a show called Paris Hilton's Best Friend, and is now searching for something more exotic (but only slightly). I am assuming next season, she will acquire a Latino BF.
Maybe it is just the people I surround myself with or the media I chose to attend to, but I had this notion that most people hated Paris Hilton; or at the very least thought her as a concept (rich dumb girl that does nothing and becomes famous) to be embarrassing to humanity and its race. However, on this show, the contestants are in complete awe of her. Here are a few examples:
- In a truth or dare game, one contestant was asked "What is the most important thing to you, and if Paris asked for it, would you give it to her?". The contestant responded that her heart was most important to her, and if Paris asked for it, she would give it to her. Talk about disgusting.
- One of the contestant's friends was asked how the contestant spoke about Paris. He responded that if the contestant ever had a God, Paris would be it. The blasphemy does not even bother me; rather its the sheer pathetic nature of this.
Nonetheless, watching (and admittingly enjoying) this show got me thinking of why people are so mezmorized by celebrities. I am not talking about loving Sidney Crosby because he is a great hockey player or watching all Matt Damon movies because you think he is a talented actor. I am talking about those nuts that consistently follow John Mayer on Twitter, the people that run those TV Shows that seem far to interested in Kate Winslet's pregnancy, or individuals that tell themselves that the Olsen twins are their biggest life inspirations.
I guess it really is not my say to pass judgement on how one distributes his or her respect, but at the very least, I question the motives or mentality behind this adoration. What makes someone reach this level of obsession with someone they have only encountered on television? Perhaps it is a desire for living like someone or something they are not; the idea of living vicariously through someone who has it all?
What many of these people maybe need to do is wake up from their dreamland, or as Mr. Matthers would say "snap back to reality". Most of these people are not really running from their horrible lives, but their mundane, ordinary, and boring lives. Perhaps these people need to be reminded that their "ordinary" lives are not necessarily boring, but rather there are more subtle excitements and joys of life they have not yet explored in their own lives. I think we all tend to wish we were someone else; wish we were doing something better. I think having a drive to live life greater is important, but I think there is a danger when we decide our lives would be better if it were not its own, but rather that of someone "better" or more "glamorous".
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