happy hour

Now if you ask any of my close friends, I don't waste my money on stupidness. What I mean by that is that when it comes to money and overspending, it's not that I am cheap, but when it comes to things I don't need, or things that I could find cheaper somewhere else, my wallet is shut tight. I think this is due to a mix of my upbringing, convictions in my faith, and just the fact that I don't think I need to drive a Lexus when most of the people I know struggle to have sufficient bus fare in their pockets.

So, Starbucks is the last place you will find me.

That is, except on Mondays. Monday is my day to get work done, rest, reflect, and just get some end and odd jobs done before the week really gets going. I have been searching for a nice coffeeshop of some sorts near my house for the last couple times but my efforts have been with little success. Of course there is Tim Hortons, but Tim Hortons has neither wi-fi nor electric outlets. Alas, until I find a nice place that is close to my house, has available resources for my laptop, and brews coffee, Starbucks seems to be my hangout for Monday afternoons.

This morning, being Monday morning, I woke up a bit more excited to go to Starbucks than usual. A few of my friends are avid and faithful followers of Starbucks and their random happy hour specials; lately that of 'Half Priced Frappacino Happy Hour'. Me being the stickler I am am usually pretty pessimistic about these things (I mean half price is still nearing on $3! Does anyone else find this only a bit of a deal?). Also to make me sound like even more of a grump, I've worked in coffee shops before and know exactly how much work and how much money goes into making something like a Frappacino, and I can tell you its not worth even close to the amount they cost, unless, of course, the polar glaciers completely melt, global warming wins, and, as a result, there is an ice shortage pandemic in the world. However, today I woke up thinking, "yeah, that's alright...a nice treat for myself in just about the perfect weather". So today, I decided, rather than getting the cheapest possible drink at Starbucks above water from the tap in my travel mug from home (my usual), I bought one of these fancy frappacinos (which I admit are good, but never, ever, necessary). Fairly happy with my purchase, and maybe a little apathetic, I sat down at a table and pulled out my laptop ready to get some stuff done. Amidst all the chaos of moving wires and fixing the ideal position for my laptop (which I'm secretly pretty picky about), I knocked over my drink having it all spill on the floor (literally all of it, I had not even put in the straw yet).

With my drink all over the floor, and just about everyone around me looking awkwardly and silently at me, I was slightly embarrassing. But then the money-saving-down-with-the-man side of me helped me come to the realization that I just completely wasted a $3 drink. Then a certain attitude towards it all came over me, one that I had never really felt before: it's cool. As I cleaned up the mess and sorta awkwardly smiled at people around me, I kept asking myself, why does this not bother me? I kept trying to prove to myself that it should and I need to be at least a little frustrated at my stupidity. But no matter how hard I tried to tell myself what an annoying and bothersome situation I was in, I just could not convince myself that it was that big of a deal. There was a peace over me, a peace over the situation, that it wasn't a big deal. In short, it is what it is and, what it is, is cool.

What does it mean to have peace over something; to have peace over a situation or to be at peace with the things at hand? I think to have peace over something is to be able to see the bigger picture, to remove yourself from the moment you are in, and see the wider scope and know that things are good. It is a completely natural, and rational, reaction for people to go through life living in the micro, analyzing every detail and nit picking at the immediate world that apparently defines their identity. We get something on sale, we are happy; we are sitting in traffic, we are sad; we buy something we really like, we are happy; we spill it all over the floor, we are sad. We live and devote our lives to how we feel in given situations; we become slaves to what's going on and lose who we are in the midst of it.

My questions is this: what does it mean to see the bigger picture in our lives? Further, what does it look like to the people around us when we start acting and living based on the mindset that we are NOT enslaved by the hi's and low's of our daily routine? Now, I am not being ignorant. I think in my line of work I see, more than most, people who do not have a reality beyond their current state; to see the big picture is not only a far off dream, but, even more so, a foolish ideal that blurs the truth. For many people, the current is everything. But, whether it's true or not, whether it's possible to live in this way, I have to believe that there is more than the current. The present, the current state we are, cannot be everything we are because life only works if there is a greater and more foundational truth to each of our lives. If there is no hope that we are bigger than "this" and that we are not slaves to the things that go on on a micro scale in our lives, then we are fighting a useless fight; we are running towards a destination to nowhere.

Our jobs, that status of our relationships, our interests and priorities, our emotions and feelings...these things define where we are at because these things change. Where we are at in our journey in life is something beautiful, don't get me wrong. But if where I am at defines who i am, I am the subject of a completely unstable and damaging reality. Now what we are, that's a different story. What we are does not change...the core of our identities and the fundamental truths, innate truths, of who a person is is something even more beautiful. These are the things that can never be changed; what we are is the defining immutable truth over each of our lives. If there is no hope that who I am is defined by what I am, and not where I am at, then I am not excited, and certainly not at peace, with who I am.

What does a revolution of people that see themselves at the core of who they are and not the labels or states that confine them look like? What does it mean to see a world transformed by each individual's realization that they are more than the things that define them; that their identities are rooted in the truth of what they are and not where they are at in their journey in life.

That would be scary as hell...and awesome.

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Song of the Week:



(Shad; A Story No One Told. Not only is Shad's flow amazing, but this song speaks poetry, truth, and life that is so refreshing to a barren and empty rap game)